When I was a younger man, I was talking to my dad about my possible career path. I told him I was interested in waste management. There was a pause. “Son” he said. You have GOT to be taking the p*ss.

And so it began – a lifetime of crappy puns, regurgitated with frankly alarming regularity towards my choice in employment. But you know what? I didn’t let it get me down in the dumps. No, I knew this was the job for me, and that I’d have to take a few steaming nuggets of “wisdom” on the chin along the way. In fact, I knew I’d bust a blood vessel if I strained too hard to avoid the puns, and so decided to collect them.

Here at Mayglothling, we’ve heard them ALL before. Here’s a few of them filtered out, to help you continue your journey down the road to success. If you stay focused, you never know, you might just get to be number one in the number two business.

Don’t p*ss about

It would be a waste of time for us to just list every single trashy pun we’ve heard over the years, so we refuse to do so. Instead, let’s look at some of the more common strains we encounter on an average day at work.

I’ve lost count of the number of times the sh*t has well and truly hit the fan in this line of business. You can always tell when you’re on site that there might be a bigger, more strenuous problem than the client was expecting to deal with – sometimes, things just don’t smell right. At times like that, I like to have a strong black coffee. It really helps get things moving, sometimes totally unblocking the issue at hand.

I always try ensure that I start the day with enough moral fibre to get me through the inevitable struggle, trying my damnedest to emerge from the other side, perhaps not smelling of roses, but flushed with the success of a job well done. Sometimes the client is really squeezing for a huge result, quickly – we have to tell him to relax and take his time.

Disposing of the problems is only part of the job, I don’t want to paper over anything here. You need to encourage a strong culture in your office, just not on your overalls. It is, however, very important not to take your work home with you. I, for example, have banned the playing of that song from Frozen at home. You know the one. There are five people in my family. I’m not sure the plumbing will handle it if we all “Let It Go” at once.

Let it go:
Just make sure your plumbing can handle it…

Ok, I think we’ve squeezed as many waste management puns out as we can for now. But if theres one thing I’ve learned in this line of work, it’s that clients want a job well done, if only for the immense sense of relief and satisfaction that it brings.

In fact, I was speaking to my dad again the other day. “So, are you stinking rich yet?” he said. Well, I replied. I’m halfway there.”

We hope you’ve had a smile or three reading this. Remember you can contact us for all your domestic waste needs. And, after reading this, let’s see if you can come up with any puns we’ve not heard before! We challenge you to let us hear them on Twitter and Facebook!