We know septic tanks can be sexy – the next trick is making them festive. No, we haven’t gone completely mad. If you have a septic tank you might as well blend it into your garden rather than have it stick out like, well, like a giant bottle of semi-liquid waste or a big metal lid. Some things just defy simile. Anyway, if you’re decorating the rest of your property you might want to consider fitting the septic tank into your plans.

Where would you hide the septic tank?

Simple and basic idea first: a lid. It’s round, it’s flat (ish) and it’d make a decent base for an outdoor tree. That alone can make for a perfect display, especially if the weather’s on your side.

Snow not includedMayglothling’s own – Helen Orrett-Bradley has decorated her septic tank lid with a tree.

If your tank’s above ground, you don’t have that easy option, but you do have a solid object on which to hang your lights, or to brace something heavier – a 2D take on Santa’s sleigh, maybe?

Maybe a round tank, or a larger lid installation, could hide inside something.

The question hovering over all this is “why?” The simple answer is – for the season, and it beats looking at a septic tank?. The smart answer is “have you seen the weather forecast?” With the prospect of a colder winter this year, there’s a good chance of a white Christmas. Gorgeous, classic, and a pain if you need to find your septic tank in a hurry, as you just might if your rural property expects too much of its drains. If your garden’s covered in the white stuff and you have no idea where your septic tank has gone, it’s going to make it a challenge to resolve any problems. It’s great to have relatives over for the holidays: it’s not so great to deal with the extra waste.

We could do with a spot of festive cheer here at Mayglothling. If your septic tank’s looking especially jolly, send us a photo: we’ll share the best of them on the blog. And save our email address, too – just in case of Christmas crisis.